I just woke up. I think I want to go back to bed. I renewed my library books online, so now there's really no reason to be awake anymore. I could take a shower, but no. I'm so dirty and hairy right now. When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.

I had a dream that I was doing sentence diagrams with Landis. Not the linguistic kind, but the fourth-grade kind, with the little hingy lines coming down everywhere. Why can't life really be like that? I was eating seafood, too. So much cholesterol.

pure Dairy Butter.

sleep sleep sleep

the strange resident borrowed my vacuum and returned it dusty. Apparently some people don't know the value of a post-vacuuming vacuum vacuuming.

Chances are, I will not be getting out of this bed unless something forces me. God, please no fire alarms.

I really should work out. I'm faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat [something about God].